Sometimes when I’m bored I like to check out Crunchyroll or Funimation to see if they’re streaming anything interesting. Sometimes it works out really well, such as the time I watched all of Nerima Daikon Brothers in a day. Or when I spent an entire weekend watching the first two seasons of Shin Chan. Sometimes I prefer to check out shows that I’m mildly interested in, but not interested enough to spend $40 to buy it. Which is how I ended up watching Sekirei. Could have been worse though. I was hoping to find Master of Martial Hearts, but Funimation isn’t streaming it anywhere.
Sekirei tells the story of a bunch of people known as Sekirei who are destined to kill each other until only one remains to reach some never-totally-explained goal. It’s like Highlander, but with large breasted chicks instead of immortals. Minato gets caught up in the Sekirei Plan when it turns out he’s an Ashikabi, a human who can make a Sekirei “emerge” and gain more power by kissing them. As the game gets underway, Minato starts to gather more Sekirei and prepares for the oncoming battle.
Obviously no one is going to jump into Sekirei for the plot. I get that. But that still doesn’t excuse the show from being a giant exercise in pointlessness. It’s hard to really attack the plot as being poorly written or executed, because that would require there to actually be a plot. It’s 12 episodes of set-up with no pay off, and absolutely nothing gets resolved. They talk about the Sekirei Plan, where all the Sekirei start killing each other for some vaguely defined goal. Except nothing is ever actually done with it. The plan gets underway and the city is put on lockdown, and then nothing actually happens. They make a big deal out of how this means things are going to start getting real, and the fight is finally beginning. But it never does. They just goof around for a few more episodes, fight a couple other Sekirei, and then call it a day. There’s already a second season of the show, but they could have at least attempted to actually do something here, especially since it took two years for the second season to get made.
The show goes through the effort of establishing its absurdly large cast of characters, including a handful of potential antagonists, and then does nothing with them. Although saying it establishes these characters is a bit of a stretch. It mostly just shows them a few times, never bothering to really introduce most of them or going over what any of the potential villains is really after. For instance, there’s one Sekirei whose Ashikabi (a Sekirei’s human master) is in the hospital for some reason. There’s another Ashikabi who’s using this situation to blackmail her into killing other Sekirei just because he can I guess. There’s never really a reason given for it, nor is this particular side plot resolved in any way. Then there’s another Sekirei who seems to know the main character Minato, though how or why she knows him is never actually revealed or even addressed at all. The show is basically a clusterfuck of unresolved side plots.
But hey, who even cares about all that plot nonsense? Obviously anyone watching Sekirei is more interested in the boobs, and the wacky hijinks, and the wacky boob hijinks. Well if that’s all you really want then you’re in luck, because the show is rife with breasts. The number of bathing scenes easily rivals the number of fight scenes. It’s like bathing is the national pastime in Sekirei‘s version of Japan. Just got back from grocery shopping? Take a bath. Sitting around with nothing to do? Take a bath. Just got finished taking a bath? Take a bath. It’s as if bathing was the only way the writers could think of to get the girls naked, aside from making their clothes explode during fights of course. It wouldn’t be half as bad if the breasts at least looked nice, but unless beach balls are your thing it’s not exactly a very enticing display.
The animation is, unsurprisingly, not very good. Several shots get recycled throughout the series, most noticeably with one pose Tsukiumi uses almost once an episode. There are even a few shots in the final episode that are taken directly from the opening credits. Fight scenes are janky and dis-jointed, making it sometimes nigh impossible to figure out what the hell is supposed to be going on. This isn’t made any easier by the fact that almost every Sekirei twirls like an idiot when fighting because I guess the animators couldn’t think up any decent fight choreography. Not much thought seems to have gone into character designs either since almost the entire cast boils down to large breasts and skimpy outfits. Although, the main heroine Musubi’s outfit isn’t really all that skimpy, but she usually ends up completely naked five seconds into most fights, and as previously mentioned the breasts are just absurdly oversized. It’s just not an impressive show to look at.
Funimation’s dub for the series is… interesting. It features quite a few newcomers, or people who’ve mostly had minor roles, and a few more experienced voice actors using aliases. Alexis Tipton plays the main heroine Musubi, and does as good a job as someone can do considering the material. She has a talent for comedic material, and plays the role of an innocent air-headed girl perfectly, without making the character come off as annoying. Joel MacDonald plays Minato, and while he’s not necessarily bad, his voice is kind of grating. It’s a little too high pitched and scratchy for the character. It definitely takes some getting used to, but he does a fine job overall. Tsukiumi’s lines for the dub are all mildly Shakespearean, with plenty of doths and thys. At one point she says, “Bringeth it,” which is probably the only time the show managed to actually make me laugh. Can’t really say much for most of the cast, since a lot of the characters don’t appear enough to actually have personalities that need to be portrayed certain ways.
This really just isn’t a very good show. There’s practically no over-arching story, and instead we just get numerous side plots that never get resolved. It’s rarely funny, and the fights aren’t interesting in any way. Even if you’re just in it for boobs, they just look absurd and they aren’t worth putting up with everything else for. There is absolutely no circumstance in which I could see this show being worth watching, so just don’t bother.
Pros: Uh… the opening song is nice I guess?
Cons: No story, most characters have no personality, breasts look absurd, fights are boring, absolutely no payoff in the end