Author Archives: jaysteevee

2012 & Third Impact: This Time For Sure!

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Uh oh ..... Pull shade ..... draw curtains.

2012 & Third Impact: This Time For Sure!

October 21 has come & gone & it looks as if Harold Camping is wrong again (He has since retired & now says no one can know the time …..). No rapture. No armageddon. No world destruction.

And for us Evangelion fans, no Third Impact! As for me, good!

But wait! There is 2012. When the Mayan calender ends. Even though there are no indications that something would happen there has been much speculation about ….. THE END (Roll credits.). It’s all bullcrap but then again what a better time for Third Impact to happen.

So, when the ball drops on New Years’ & “Guy Lombardo” strikes up the band (Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s later. possibly 12-21-12. Can’t be too careful though.), be on the lookout for any hovering, blue haired, Japanese albino schoolgirls in the vicinity. Do whatever you can to avoid physical contact. Fight, run, hide, whatever. Just don’t let her get close enough to touch you. You may not like what will happen if you do. That’s my advice to you, take it or leave it.

So there …..

OK, so much for that. I can only hope somebody takes this warning to heart. I can only do so much to …..

Awww ….. Nooo! Not you ….. AGAIN?!. It’s not even Thanksgiving let alone New Years’. Why are you always picking on ME?! We’ve been through this ….. how many times already? Twice. Yeah, two times before & both times I’ve rejected Instrumentality & came back. The last time what was left of me dribbled under the front door & I rematerialized outside my apartment. BUTT NEKKID! Have you any idea how embarrassing that is? (Good thing the door was unlocked.) Come to think of it I don’t think you would …..

Look ….. kid. I don’t want Instrumentality. Really, I don’t. I don’t wanna be one with the greater “whatever”. I don’t care to be joined to the collective conciousness of the oversoul. I’m not into that communal thing. I’m also not into that fetishy schoolgirl look you seem to effect ….. & …..

Never you mind what I’m into! That’s not the point! The point is I don’t wanna go! I like it here. I like being here. And I like me just the way I am. It may be lonely & “painful” but that’s the way it is. I can take it.

Now I know I can’t outrun you, so I’m just gonna step right here in this here bath tub (Plug’s in? Good!) & pretend you’re not here. I figure if I reject Instrumentality beforehand, I won’t have to go through the krap of “transcendance” again.

Let’s see now ….. I’m in my happy place ….. I’m in my happy place ….. my happy place ….. happy place ….. happy place ….. happy ….. happy ….. happy ….. Aw darn it! ….. BLOOOOOSH!

burble ….. burble …..

LCL ….. Crisp & clean ….. no caffiene. Never had it. Never will!

Article copyright © 11-10-2011 Jay Agan

This article first posted at Jays’ Tee Vee.

Beyblade, Babelights, Big Stinkin’ Difference!

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Does this look like "babe lights" to you? Grumble, grumble!

 

Beyblade, Babe Lights, Big Stinkin’ Difference!

I’m working at an unmentionable, cut rate, mid-west merchandising chain (Not Big Lots. They were nice to me.) in the toy dept. I like toys. If no one’s looking, I have fun. This place was not into fun. They wanted you working every second, which meant straightening shelves that didn’t need it. I was in the “process” of doing this when I’m approached by this matron looking for “Babe Lights”.

“Babe Lights?”

“Yes! Babe Lights. Do you have them?”

I suggested she try the infants dept. but she insisted they were in toys. OK. So we start looking in the more younger oriented section & coming up zero. Babe Lights? She didn’t know what they were but knew we had them (I sure didn’t!). What were they? Something from Wham-O?

As the search dragged into long & fruitless, I call in the manager. They get to talking & getting nowhere even faster. FINALLY she says something about it having to do with a “cartoon”.

The manager asks, “could you mean Bey Blades?”

“That’s what I said! Babe Lights!”

“( @!#$%*! )”

I immediately led her to where we had the related item(s).

This was a show I only knew of in passing & has come & gone. Shoot. I may not know much about a lot of things but if people would pronounce words correctly, I can at least retrieve/point things out. Geez!

Article copyright © 6-21-2011 Jay Agan

This article originally posted at Jays’ Tee Vee.

 

Third Impact On The Way October 21!

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Sorry Evangelion fans. THE END ain't gonna happen this way!

Third Impact On The Way October 21!

OK. So Harold Camping didn’t get it quite right for May 21. Nobody vanished “in the twinkling of an eye” & nothing more than the usual chaos, murder, & mayhem has occured since. Before suffering a stroke in June, Mr. Camping said a “spiritual” judgement has been made by God & the actual rapture’s gonna take place October 21 along with the destruction of the world. More than likely, nothing’s gonna happen then either, & as it will be October, yours truely is probably gonna be watching old black ‘n white horror flicks then, howsomever …..

When 10-21 or thereabout rolls around & you start hearing Komm Susser Tod (Come Sweet Death) playing in the background. ….. Run!

Run! Run like you’ve never run before in your entire life. Run til your heart stops. Run til you can run no more & ….. Keep running.

While it may be true that no one gets away from Lillith-Rei, it doesn’t hurt to try. Yes, she may “know” the desires of everyones’ heart making resistance futile (In my case she’d appear as a girlfriend from LONG ago who I should NOT have broken up with.). Give it a go anyway.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You’re on your own.

So there.

Well, no one can accuse me of not tipping ‘em off. It’s every man for himself & I’ve got a new pair of track shoes. Yessir! No “liquid nirvanna” for me! I’m ready to ….. Huh? ….. Well hi hon! I haven’t seen you in ….. Wait a minute! You’re not her! YOU’RE NOT HER! No way you’re gonna get me! It’ll be a cold day in ….. What the!? …..How’d you get ahead a’ me! ….. YIKE! …..Splat! ….. burble ….. burble …..

LCL. Wotta you got that sticks or squeaks?

Article copyright © 9-20-2011 Jay Agan

This article was first posted on Jays’ Tee Vee.

Sonny Gave It Strait

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Couldn't get a rise out of him! Too nice a guy.

Sonny Gave It Strait

Sometime in Autumn, 2003. I’m out on the lot bringing in shopping carts at a place that shall remain nameless. Unlike most of my fellow employees, I actually liked getting karts all day. I’m outside, getting some exercise, & best of all, am away from the public (God bless ‘em. Grrrrr!). Wheeling another load in, I noticed a Hummer pulling in. The earlier, discontinued, large model, glossy black, with Dragonball Z characters painted on. Huh? Some otaku with more money than brains? Had to check this out.

Though I recognized the images (Goku, Krillin, etc.) on the vehicle, I’m no fan of that particular anime. I’d seen bits & pieces of that loud, garish, repetitive show while channel surfing. I actually had seen a few whole episodes of the original Dragonball & found them quite funny. But DBZ? Ugh! I recollect one fellow commenting there were 350+ episodes & taking out the flashbacks/repeats you’d have about 75 (Addendum: I understand Dragonball Z Kai to be just such a remedying/editing.). Simple intros/faceoffs would take more than one ep before a fight would start. Shoot! Even Pokemon‘s more involved plotwise.

As two guys pile out, I notice some kids gathering round. Turns out to be a promotional for the shows’ trading card game & one of the guys is Sonny Strait, voice of Krillin & other characters in the English dubs. Feeling snarky, I try to needle him.

“Hate the show, it hurts my eyes.”

He patiently explains the effect the creators wanted was the basic five color scheme used in comics and funny papers.

“What’s the show about? All I see are a bunch of costumed goons beating each other up.”

“That’s exactly what the show is about!” Pointing in the air with a flourish, smile on his face, not rattled at all.

Not getting the reaction I wanted, (No snobbery or pretentiousness. Dang!), I turned back to retrieving karts. “Well, it could be worse. It could be Sailor Moon.”

Only a chuckle in reply. Years down the road, someone commented he probably got a lot of crap from “fans” and knew how to handle it. I guess so!

A half hour later, I spot Mr. Strait in the stores’ cafeteria. Feeling more civilized, I question him on the voice acting field & he graciously answered my inquiries. The guy has class.

This was one of several instances that led me to pursue a career in the field myself, (A story{s} for maybe later.) & I won’t forget it.

Article copyright © 11-8-10 Jay Agan

This article originally posted on Jays’ Tee Vee.

Upcoming Animes. Well, Not Really Part 3

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Upcoming Animes. Well, Not Really Part 3

It won’t be 10 more this time as I’ve run out of ideas. Maybe in about a year I’ll come up with more. Here goes.

1. The Tribulation of Haruhi Suzumiya- Out of sheer frustration/cynicism & pique, Kyon tries another attempt at telling Haruhi the truth about herself. This time she believes him! He then notices a Bible on her desk bookmarked halfway through Revelation. Oops!

Guess we now know who she really is.

2. Great Teacher Kimura- Yes! He’s back! That whacky sicko from Azumanga Daioh! Stalking his way into the hearts of millions &, as usual, is about as funny as a ….. well, a child molester. Belly laughs & gutbusters aplenty over his creepy antics as Minamo & novice science teacher Kaorin, stand between him & the kids.

3. The Girl Who Schlepped Through Time- She loved her Bat Mitzvah. But it wasn’t quite as good as she liked. So…..

4. Beau Geste & The Secret of Blue Water- The Geste brothers, finding the legendary jewel, the Blue Water, has been stolen, join the Foriegn Legion to avoid disgrace. The sadistic Sargeant Markoff plots to get it. While posted at Fort Zinderneuf a group of jewel thieves, a young frenchman, & a young Kenyan circus performer (who has the jewel) end up there as well, having been pursued by a force of Neo-Atlanteans disguised as desert raiders. Gary Cooper & Brian Donlevy never had it so bad!

5. Bridge On the River Kawai- British POWs are forced to build an absolutly cute little bridge over a stunningly charming river for the Japanese military. The POWs’ commanding officer goes mindnumbingly tsundere over the idea. Later in the show, commandoes blow up the adorable structure just as a totally moe’ little choo choo crosses over &………. Oh krap! I said I was running out of ideas & this proves it! I’m almost embarrassed to print this. Aw….. what the heck! I’m hitting the button.

Article copyright © 12-11-2010 Jay Agan

Originally posted on Jays’ Tee Vee.